Burpees and bear crawls

Nothing very exciting to report, so I thought I'd fill you in on our new morning fitness routine. We've been doing this three times a week since the end of February. I swear, every time the alarm goes off, there is about 45 seconds of wingeing (a great Aussie term), occasionally a bit of swearing, creative excuses for not getting out of bed, etc. but eventually we unfurl, and sleepwalk up to Observatory Hill for our 30-minute torture session with Daniel, our "conditioning coach". It's a love/hate relationship.

This all came about because over the past few months, we've noticed a peculiar outdoor group fitness phenomenon - people charging at each other with boxing gloves, throwing around medicine balls, etc. It's everywhere. We were curious and agreed it might be good to try something other than running - I believe this is called "cross training".

Yeah. Cross training. This term scares me. Chris pointed out a group of decidedly fit people running, jumping and rolling around on the grass on top of Observatory Hill, so we tentatively approach to see what is going on. Fast forward four days and we are chin down in the muddy grass, doing body blasts, spiderman crawls, sprinter shuffles, star jumps, hover-to-pushups, and another 10 things that I can't remember the names of because they were so painful I blocked them out. Oh, wait. There were bear crawls and burpees too. Who came up with the term burpee?

The stuff is hard. The next day neither of us can get out of bed. But it gets us going in the morning, and our group is small so we've gotten to know some interesting personalities. It's amazing the things you say to complete strangers when you're in pain.

Last Monday we arrive at 7:05 and about 15 minutes in, it starts raining. I don't mean a light, lovely mist to cool your face, this is a deluge. So the group starts wingeing (I so LOVE it!) and moping around. Tamsen isn't happy. Emily certainly isn't happy, but Daniel isn't about to give in. It is pouring and I'm drenched and muddy, but I have to admit, I did feel a little bit like Rambo doing push-ups in the mud. The last session of our 8-week "commitment" was Friday, but now I'm worried. I mean, we can't just STOP, right? What's gonna happen? I get up the next morning instantly sad and flabby?

Our next session begins on Monday.

Tim Tam Slam!

Ahhh, the Tim Tam. Yummy chocolate filling surrounded by a crispy chocolate cookie, coated in, um, more chocolate. You can only get these in Australia, and we have been eating them ever since Chris noticed that his coworkers devour them. He knew I would love them, especially since there is a fun trick you can do if you have the right technique. It's called a Tim Tam Slam. It also goes by the name Tim Tam Explosion and Tim Tam Bomb. You get the idea. There are rumors that it's been attempted in the United States using Oreo cookies, but without success.

Because of the Tim Tam's unique properties, you can, with the right approach, use it as a straw to sip your coffee. Pure heaven. Or so I'm told. I've never actually had a successful Tim Tam Slam. Here are the step-by-step instructions, plus a video tutorial. This dude makes it look easy, but don't be fooled. Many a Tim Tam has been wasted while attempting the Slam.

1. Chill Tim Tam. Most Aussies suggest keeping the box in your fridge for quick access during parties and such.

2. Make yourself a cup of hot coffee or tea.

3. Take a small bite from the both ends of the Tim Tam. Warning: do not overbite. It's obviously very easy to do, and I blame all of my failed attempts on overly-enthusiastic biting.

4. Place the Tim Tam in your mouth and secure with your teeth, not lips, which will cause it to melt prematurely.

5. Plunge the Tim Tam about half way down into the coffee and suck like crazy.

There are two outcomes. Sadly, I have only achieved the first.

Outcome A: As you desperately suck on the Tim Tam, it falls apart and leaves you with chocolate-smeared fingers and sad, lumpy coffee.

Outcome B: The gooey center of the Tim Tam is successfully siphoned out of the hard cookie shell into your waiting mouth, allowing you to exhale, take a deep breath, and experience the amazing taste trifecta!